dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
