don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
