Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so let's talk penis.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
