So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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