I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
