Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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