You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
