Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
