dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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