They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
