You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Someone signed my nipple.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
