my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
