I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
