So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
