do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
