similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
