are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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