I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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