If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
