now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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