All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
