Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
