i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's just like the Real World with babies
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How does one acquire holy water?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
