Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
