I didn't shave. On purpose
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
