god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
