she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
