I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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