So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
