It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
