So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
