i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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