I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
