I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
