I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My cat gives me a boner
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
