uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
