i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
