She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
