Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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