I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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