we have officially lost it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We are two peas in an std pod
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
