I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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