I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
