I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
