I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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