You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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