So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
