youre lurking in front of me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
