I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
