gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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